Dating articles and advice
There is usually a better way to communicate or understand where my partner is coming from. “Fuck happiness.” This advice stuck with me because it’s so to the point and so opposite of what we’re taught to think. My mom told me to always ask questions on a first date because everyone wants to feel listened to.
We are so sold on “happily ever after,” but relationships are at their deepest when you can deal with and support each other through the stupid days, the downtrodden days, the boring days. And to always dump the person who doesn’t ask any questions back. “Don’t go into it thinking they’re.” This was super important because I feel like if you go through betrayal at a young age (21 for me, at the time) you just want to find your person and enjoy and grow with them and live happily ever after.
Because of my mom’s advice, I don’t panic when we’re going through a tough time; I look forward to falling in love with my husband again. That I cannot choose to prioritize the desires, whims, or life choices of a significant other at the expense of losing my sense of self.
And that moment is usually not sexy, like when one of our kids vomits in the middle of the night and he gets up to help me clean it up and then touches my foot with his foot when we finally climb back into bed. If I become the best version of who my partner wants me to be (or who I think he wants me to be), I’m camouflaging all those wonderful parts of me that exist with or without that person. When you get married, make sure the person you choose is someone you’d not only want to marry but also to divorce.
The choice is up to you and your parents, but Christian teens should still know God’s perspective on dating.
Non-Christians have a different perspective on dating.
You see the magazines, TV shows, and movies that tell you how you’re young, and you should date a lot of people before you get married.
You see certain “role models” jumping from one dating relationship to another.
It is such an underrated but essential trait in any partner, and one that isn’t put high enough on “the list.” It struck such a chord with me and I think about it daily in how I approach both romantic, platonic, and professional relationships. My mom told me when I was 15, “Boys are like buses, a new one comes around every 15 minutes, so there’s no point of crying when you miss the first one.” It made me realize that life goes on after a breakup, even when it feels like the end of the world.
Sometimes it means we try to fit a square peg into a round hole. I watched my mom do it for 20 years and then I did it for 4 years. You can’t expect them to know your needs and desires unless you tell them. It’s not about finding the person you want to share one life with.
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It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.