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If a guy is in a dating relationship or he’s got a series of dating relationships, he’s not behaving himself sexually, he says to him, go ahead and get married. It seems to me those can be in conflict at times, because infatuation, that’s the … There has to be sufficient time till you get through that brain fog and you can have an accurate picture of who really am I relating to? Helen Fisher is a biological anthropologist and she’s actually studied this. The richest marriages I have seen and this is what I would tell singles, the most intimate, fulfilled marriages I’ve ever witnessed are marriages that exist for something bigger than themselves. Every Thursday when the podcast releases, there’s something I need to hear that I wouldn’t have thought to look into myself.In other words, get married for the sake of righteousness, because you want to live a righteous life. the mechanism that God has put in us to draw us together. Jim: We’ve described infatuation, but I’m still not sure on what the definition is. And here’s some key markers for somebody who’s head over heels in an infatuation. I’m not sure if he’s got the character that I want.” How do I learn to put character above infatuation? Boundless is helping me to become a better person in all the roles I fill; as a sister, employee, Christian; daughter and friend.” Now, we love hearing comments like that and being part of the journey every step of the way.That was the very verse about wanting to do it God’s way. it was fabulous and I met Jean in a very, I think, God-centric way. Gary, let’s also come back to this idea of finding the No. But when you have a strong sister or brother in the Lord, that …You’re striving for that, but is there only one person out there for me? And I think that’s one of the most destructive myths that Christian singles are holding onto. I’d like to say, I think eight character traits that are essential for us to be and for us to look for for a successful marriage and we’re talking about the “why” of marriage. 1 person, that God has selected one person for me and I gotta [ , he has a character names Aristophanes, who said that there’s this ancient prototype human that was male and female together. that is there beside you, that has your back, that is a rock, I think of a woman I’ll never forget. I’m gonna let you choose who you face those challenges with.Author Gary Thomas discusses several issues within the modern dating scene – character vs. And later, I do want to dig into the infatuation aspect, because I’ve found your book really intriguing in that area. So, for them, the “why” of marriage is sharing an infatuation, sharing sexual chemistry, enjoying each other’s company on a date.romantic attraction, the neurological impact of infatuation, the idea of soulmates – while encouraging singles to be intentional in their pursuit of a godly spouse. all single and so, I’m really listening intently and I so appreciate our guest and the wisdom that he brings to this kind of topic. Gary Thomas, of course, is a well-known author and speaker on this topic. It’s a highlight of my year whenever I see “Focus on the Family Welcomes Gary Thomas.” (Laughter) Jim: Well, that’s fun. Those are the things that most people are drawn to.Those things that our culture values, that’s not the “why” of marriage. And so, if we don’t know the “why,” we can’t know whether somebody qualifies as a good “who.” Jim: Gary, with that in mind, should a couple wait a couple of years so that infatuation stage passes them and their clarity comes and the fog of the moment uh … Gary: I’m asked that all the time, Jim and here’s the thing.The Bible doesn’t give us a calendar and so, I don’t want to create one. This’ll be a challenge and this’ll be a challenge and this is his strength and this is his strength and this is …
That’s our subject on today’s Focus on the Family, hosted by Focus president and author, Jim Daly and I’m John Fuller. Sexual chemistry, though it’s an important part of marriage, it doesn’t hold a marriage together. I think of a Hollywood actress who was involved in a cable television show.
Author Gary Thomas discusses several issues within the modern dating scene – character vs. Gary: Well, when we were raisin’ our kids and we’re, like John, we have three adult children from 26… a woman that has been a blessing for 28 years, that I couldn’t have dreamed of.
romantic attraction, the neurological impact of infatuation, the idea of soulmates – while encouraging singles to be intentional in their pursuit of a godly spouse. But certainly, the process to get there was broken.
Now we sort of Christianize it as if God created one person just for us. If infatuation isn’t enough, what to become infatuated with somebody who would be sterling marriage material. They called them “round people.” And the problem is, that they were becoming too powerful and threatening the gods. She had gone through so many medical crises in her life, it would make you want to cry, that one woman had to go through all of that in one lifetime. I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through this without my husband. He made me feel like I was the most beautiful woman on the earth, when I felt like I was the ugliest because of the treatments I was going through. I’m gonna let you choose who you walk through those trials with. John: And we trust you’ll be with us then, as we continue the conversation with Gary Thomas.
But I’ve found that leads people astray more than it’s helpful. But you’re just not marrying– Jim: Well, it’s not … So, Zeus came up with the plan, I’m gonna cut ‘em in two, separate the two halves. Next to becoming a Christian, marrying him was the best decision I ever could’ve made.” And what she said is that life has been very, very difficult, but it’s been better because she chose a good man to walk through this life with. And what will matter most is faith and character, being filled with the Spirit, having the wisdom of Scripture, invested inyour family. Jesus knew what He was talking about with Matthew . And meanwhile, get a CD or a download of our discussion today.